oh how I miss him.

So.. I am in Indiana for a stupid math class and have to be here for 5 weeks. I love being around my family and being "home." However, I wish Daron could be here with me. I knew it would be hard to be away from him, but I never knew it would be this hard.. I miss him holding me at night while I sleep.. I miss his kisses in the morning before he goes to work.. I miss seeing him at lunch time and eating lunch together.. I miss cooking him dinner in the evening.. I just miss.. sigh.. HIM! I know you all don't want to read the mushieness.. but I am pregnant so I am allowed to be mushy!! lol.. So, baby.. if you're reading this.. I miss you and love you!!!!!!!!!! I am so exited to be having a baby with this man. I have been praying that the baby gets the best of both of us. Here are some of the things I hope he/she gets from us. From Daron: I hope he/she gets his hunger for the word of God, his crazy favor he has with people and with the Lord, his genorosity and willingness to give, his ability to forgive, his ability to not stress and allow the Lord to do His thing, his ability to let things roll of his back and not care what others say about him, his business-savyness(lol) and his drive to do something/be something great despite everything being against him. From me, I just want a few things, now know this is hard for me to even put good things about myself so please don't think I am "tooting my own horn" lol.. From me I hope he/she gets my compassion for people, my ability to love people when its hard, my pre-pregnancy skin(its not so pretty now but i have hardly ever even had to wash my face and have had NO trouble with acne), my eyes, my sensitivity to the Spirit, and my desire to learn. Now, with that said there is ALOT I don't want him/her to get from both Daron and I, but so that I will stay out of trouble, I will just write them about me... I pray he/she gets a MUCH better metabolism, a better sense of direction, I pray he/she does not get my constant worry attitude, or that they do not inherit my always worrying about what other people think of me. I hope she/he doesn't get my feelings of solving things with violence all the time, and having to be "hard" because showing emotion is weak, or how I get so angry at myself for absolutly nothing.. lol. And, the list goes on and on.. haha.. But, I am praying that the baby looks like a mix of the two of us.. a light brown skin with green eyes would make me SO happy... (and of course with my nose..hahah) And I would love a girl.. BUT I will be happy with whatever the Lord gives us.. because he/she came from the Love I have for my husband and I know God is (as I write) knitting him/her together in my womb and is fearfully and wonderfully made!!!!!

fame, money, gifts... but at what cost??

So.. I have got to do better about writing on here.. because I think of stuff all the time i just don't write it.. Anyway..I have been following the show Jon and Kate plus eight pretty much since it first came out. This show has made me so sad. I fell in love with these kids right away, but it didn't take me long to start picking up on major issues between Jon and Kate. In the beginning, Jon and Kate were both very different than they are now. Kate has never really been nice to Jon.. but it seemed like she was much sweeter to him in the very beginning, and was not into money and fame. I watched one of the first documentaries ever(before they even had the show) and Kate said something like " we might never be able to give our children all of the things they want, but we will always have eachother." Now, if you look at Kate.. several years later.. he doesn't even look like the same person. She is mean so mean to Jon.. she is obsessed with money, fame, and others opinion of her. She has literally let all these things come in their relationship and kill their marriage. Now, don't get me wrong.. a divorice is NEVER solely one persons fault. Jon has alot of things going on as well, and I FOR SURE do not agree with the way he has been hooking up with Hailey.. I don't know.. it just makes me sad because I feel like if they would have just continued to be a IT person and a nurse... living by themselves, without cameras and such.. that they would have been fine. I think they would have made it. I am just realizing that money does not make happiness. Yes, I do believe wealthy people can be happy.. but I don't think everyone can handle it. I read that the divorce rate is very high with people who win the lottery.. and I also read that a huge amount of lottery winners end up addicted to drugs and alcohol. I read an article about a man that won something like 100 millio n and he said "I wish I would have ripped up that ticket." His wife left him.. he started drinking..his grand daughter died of a drug overdose.. and the list goes on and on. It's really sad. I believe that family should come first. Just my thought.

I am in awe

I had my first ultrasound today because the doctor thought I might be having twins. Turns out.. she only sees one baby... I am a little sad its not twins.. but so exited that I got to see the baby(the peanut) and hear his/her heart beat for the first time. I was just thinking about how amazing God is. The baby starts out the size of a head on a pin needle! Crazy.. then about 5 weeks it is the size of a sesame seed(but the whole time things are forming and developing) I am about 7 weeks and the baby's brain and spinal cord are forming and are visible through the translucant skin. The baby is slightly bigger than a blueberry and already has a developing circulatory system and a strong heart beat. That just blows my little mind. The limbs, fingers, mouth and nose form in the next 2 weeks. I am so amazed at the goodness of the Lord and how He blesses us with this gift of life. My sister is also pregnant(about 5-6 weeks ahead of me) and I could not be more exited that we are sharing this together. I really wish we were closer (lived closer) so we could see this miracle happening in eachother. I know these two babies are going to be a blessing to our familes. I am so exited! Just wanted to share :)